I cast my sights across the sea of bright-eyed youth
Their toes tap-tap-tapping
Testing my testament of tentative truths
Daring me to shove rule books and guide books and text books and lie books down their throats

Their eyes turn from mine
As I teach and preach and preach and teach
About getting a proper education
Cuz one day they’ll lead the nation
Yet I’m probably not much of an inspiration
Cuz to them
I drone with a tone that draws a groan
A groan every single time I
Visualize
What I think they should be
Instead of embracing the cool cats they have been
And somehow
I’d forgotten to see it

But forgive me
Cuz as a woman, I worry
As a daughter
A sister
A teacher
A future mother
My skin bears the burden of worry

By 15, will her belly swell to bear a miracle that she cannot appreciate nor care for?
By 15, will he plant the seed of potential that may be ch-ch-choked out of life by the weeds of circumstance?

Just these thoughts alone are enough to create
Anxious creases beside
My beloved laugh lines
And when I cast my sights across this sea of bright-eyed youth
I worry.

But then I see you
And I realize
That there is more to love than worry
There is more to love than the feeling of
Your heart bursting at the seams as it screams
In the eye of the hurricane
There is more to love than to
Grip your fist cuz you’re pissed
That our girls
Our precious goddesses of the world
Are left to the Britneys
And the Katies
And the leading ladies
Of trashy MTV
Who show our lovely ladies
That the best way
To make their pay
Is to sell their bodies…?
No way…

And don’t get it twisted ladies,
I worry about our boys too
Not boys, but young men
Whose parents ain’t there
And so they’re
Tough as nails
Thrown in jails
Young men who are wrongly told,
“Men don’t cry
Unless you wanna be victimized”
So they
Dry their eyes
Keep their sorrow in disguise
Until a violent tornado crashes through
With fists of rage smashing through
Bricks and stones and skin and bones
Cuz that’s the only way they free their rage
And we expect our young men not to kill each other?
What gives?

And so I worry.

But as I was sayin’
There is more to loving these youth than to worry
There is trust
As much as I want to
Fold these bright-eyed youth
Under my wings of unconditional protection
They will never have room to breathe under them armpits
Nor can they ever spread wings of their own volition

So though I must worry
I must breathe
I must trust
I must believe
That when all is said and done she will
Remember why she chose to dance
And he will
Remember to create the right circumstance
And they will
Fly beyond their wildest dreams
Cuz they
Have it in their wildest dreams to
Reach for the stars and the skies
To create their own lives
And this time I’m
Really not telling any lies
Cuz Ms. Au promises you
If you put your mind to it
Time and time again
You will succeed
You’ll get that proper inspiration
To make a life
A celebration of creation
You will lead the nation
Then you can turn to me
And say, “See, Miss?
You had nothing to worry about.”
And you
Would be
Right!

Love,
Ms. Au

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<3